[INTERNET FINDS] That Creepy Slowpoke Song Is Now In English!

Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
Every night, you’re the one
Dreams of waking with the sun
But you sleep in ’til noon (Slowpoke)
Your pink hue
Is your color, through and through
I can see it’s the real you (Slowpoke)
Your big mouth
Like a supermarket door
Open seven/twenty-four (Slowpoke)
Your sweet tail sap
Is a yummy yummy snack
We’re hungry and we want more
(Slowpoke)
You’re so slow, that
Your picture never blurs
The speedometer concurs
(Slowpoke)
Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?

Lose your tail, that’s all right
It’ll grow back someday
That’s really cool (Slowpoke)
Dopey Pokémon, the
Category they settled on
Too bad for you (Slowpoke)
What word starts with “S”
And ends with letter “E”?
It’s obviously…(Sunstroke)
You fish with your tail
But you’re too slow when they bite
And so they swim out of sight (Slowpoke)
Your slow-motion roll has got a lot of soul
It’s your cruise control
(Slowpoke!)
Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
You yawn a single time
Down comes the rain sublime
If the famous legend is true
But you’ve been yawning all day long
And the blue skies aren’t gone
You’ve got some explaining to do
A Shellder bites your tail
And then you become a Slowbro
That’s a dopey evolution (Slowpoke)
Everywhere you go
There are Slowpoke passing through
Maybe there’s one right behind you (Slowpoke)
Plodding, poky,
sluggish, tardy,
so late you’re early (Slowpoke)

Slow slow slow
Dude, what’s your deal, Slowpoke?
Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
A great big Berry fell
Bonked you on the head
But you feel no pain (Slowpoke)
Your ears curl in—there’s a reason, you said
What was it again? (Slowpoke)
You just said “SLO”
Did you feel that Berry only just now?
You’re really somethin’ (Slowpoke)
Someday you’ll be Slowbro, or maybe even Slowking
Or you’ll just keep bein’ (Slowpoke)
Stand in a ring
Bite your buddy’s tail for lunch
What a happy looking bunch
Slowpoke!

Slow slow slow
Ah-oo what’s your story, Slowpoke?
Slow slow slow
Slowpoke!

I know that people eat Slowpoke tails. I have known this since having a random adult try to sell me one as I was just making my way through Johto. Not long after that I sabotaged the sale of them. In the games it sounded like this was a really bad thing to do but this song makes it sound like eating tails is common!

I mean, it goes without saying that people in the Pokemon world do eat Pokemon. There’s no other species of animal there to consume after all. I suppose a herd of Miltank or Tauros are no different to cows. Maybe it is just the idea of the sap from the tail being delicious that makes me feel a little bit ill. Blah!

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